Dazzling Meaning Weird


	January 2004 January 9, 2004 \|Time\| 4:47 PM \|Sound\| "Feels So Good" 311 - 311 Live \|Habit\| not doing much of anything \|Feel\| cold \|Think\| I wish it was the end of May I recently had the best week of my life. Sean got here on December 26 and left January 3. I'm now officially engaged! I asked him to think of something fun to do to ask me, and he came up with something perfect. He knows my favorite DBZ character is Vegeta, so he had a SSJ4 Vegeta figure imported from Japan. He bought this wooden heart and painted it red and placed the Vegeta figure on it. In front of Vegeta was a card with a picture of SSJ4 Vegeta and "Will you marry me?". Vegeta had one arm extended out and raised up in front of him, and on top of his hand was my ring. Now Sean had bought the card with the question and picture and also a perfectly sized box to put it all in, but he couldn't just buy one of each. He ended up with 200 something cards and boxes. It was just so sweet and so perfect. I had no idea when he was going to ask, so when he got the large box out I thought he had gotten me a present, which he wasn't supposed to do. Yeah, a pleasant surprise when I opened the box. And my ring is just so beautiful! He even picked it out himself. It's silver with a single heart-cut diamond. I wanted something silver and simple, and I got so much more than that. Everything was perfect. I had fun telling my parents. I was all nervous, but I really didn't need to be. Sean and I were talking with them, and I just walked over to my mom and showed her my ring. Of course she didn't think it was an engagement ring at first; she thought it was like a promise ring or just a ring. Since she didn't seem too surprised and didn't say anything I had to say it was an engagement ring, and that's when she got all surprised. My parents didn't really say much at all. They think I'm rushing into things, but it's been over 13 months, and I know I'm not. They also seemed surprised when I said I was going to move at the end of May. I'm not really sure why though. I'm sure they had to have at least figured I would do that seeing as I don't really want to keep a long-distance relationship for years; I would like to be able to be around the person I love all the time. So yeah, I told my family as well; my aunt just said congrats, but my grandparents were caught offguard with the news. I got quite a few dvds for christmas. I got Family Guy Season 3, Simpsons Season 3, Simpsons Christmas, Looney Tunes Golden Collection, Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends Season 1, Pirates of the Carribean, The Matrix Reloaded, X2: XMen United, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (extended version), Identity, The Score, Primal Fear, Boondock Saints, Reservoir Dogs, Solaris, Vampire Princess Miyu series and ova. I also got my foam pillow from Bed Bath & Beyond; I got some cute pajamas which consist a short-sleeved shirt and shorts that are red, and the shirt has a cute penguin on it and the shorts have penguins all over them. It's so cute! I love penguins. Oh, and Sean's mom gave me a cute necklace that has Gemini on it, which I happen to be wearing now. My IWT teacher quit so Ranken is trying to find a replacement for 4th semester. It's gonna suck so much because they're going to bore us to death, class won't be fun at all, and they won't know what they need to know in order to teach the class. The first year teacher quit as well and the person they got to teach them majored in graphics and architecture. If I was in first semester right now I'd quit and go elsewhere. Now since I'm on my last semester, I'm gonna stick with it to get my degree and be done with school. At least I had 3 worth-while semesters, and I've still got my internship. I really liked my teacher though. He was just so fun and so cool, plus he knew when the lectures got insanely boring, so he'd stop in the middle and do hands-on and stuff. We're all really going to miss him. And now the CNT idiots are getting all crazy since they are now in charge of the IWT department because my teacher was the department head. 5 more months, just 5 more months... January 14, 2004 \|Time\| 5:28 PM \|Sound\| laptop fan running \|Habit\| again, not doing much of anything \|Feel\| slightly tired \|Think\| I don't really like XML very much at all I've been having some really weird dreams lately. I've had 4 dreams that I've remembered and the crazy one from last night that I've forgotten about by now. I'm not sure if all 5 were in a row, but I know at least 3 were; it's crazy for me cuz I don't normally have them. So, in 3 of the 4 that I remember, I've had guys hitting on me. Now that's completely off because my dreams involve craziness that could never happen in real life, which hey I guess maybe that isn't so weird... Moving on, in every one of those dreams, I was just always like "I'm completely in love with Sean and that's never going to change." Now, in one of the dreams, the guy starting blowing things up and ended up killing himself. lol Now that's more like one of my normal dreams; not necessarily death or anything but craziness. I think I've only had one dream that is realistic at all, and that would be dream 4, which I happened to have typed out. But yeah, I've had dreams and they weren't my normal types of dreams and it's just been weird. Plus I'd rather not have guys hitting on me, I'm already taken. Sean was in two of the dreams even, which was really nice. My dreams tend to have people I don't even know in them. I just have absolutely no control over them whatsoever. So it's nice when the person I care about the most is in one. smiles I skipped class on Monday, which was the first day back for the semester. There was a point to it, but it did end up being pointless. I caught up with everything before class was over on Tuesday, so that was good. Mr Merrell is gone though and that sucks. I don't like the way the new teacher teaches. Plus he won't give us the powerpoints that we go over in class because "it's all in book", but that doesn't matter because it's a whole lot easier to study from a powerpoint than from a book, and I always took notes from the powerpoint because that was even easier to study. And I'm sure he's not going to let us use our books or anything for our tests either. You know, when you get a job and have to code out in the real world, you reference things and don't just have to memorize everything little thing otherwise you're screwed. Some teachers don't seem to realize that even when they have to look things up for class. You aren't fucked if you don't know it when you have a job because you can always look it up either on the internet, in books, in notes, or in past projects. Plus you're going to end up copying and pasting because it'd be a waste of time to type everything out all the time from scratch. I just don't see what people are thinking sometimes. I had a fun conversation about life today. If I had the time now and wanted to type it now, I would. It turns out that that isn't how it is, so I'll have to type it up later and throw it on my page. January 16, 2004 \|Time\| 12:02 PM \|Sound\| computer humming \|Habit\| not watching bunny while she runs \|Feel\| hungry \|Think\| Yesterday was interesting... I have to talk about my day yesterday. It started off all fine and dandy. I got up at 5:30 and was actually out of bed within 10 minutes of my alarm going off. I got ready for school, started up my car so it'd be warm when I left, and then a little after 6:30 I left for school. Traffic was pretty decent and I ended up getting to St. Louis around 7:15. I had time before school started so I stopped and got gas. I got into the school parking lot around 7:24 and proceeded to get out of my car and open the back door to get my laptop, but to my surprise, it was not there. I forgot my laptop at home because I had already had my books and stuff in my car so when I went out to leave the only thing I grabbed was my purse. So I'm at school, it's about 7:30, and I have no laptop. I felt so stupid. I got back in my car and left to drive all the way back home to go get my laptop which was going to make me late for school since it starts at 8:05. I called my mom just to make sure that my laptop was in my room and she said she'd go ahead and meet me halfway so that I wouldn't be quite as late. So around 7:50 I got my laptop and headed back to school. I ended up getting there at about 8:20, so I wasn't too incredibly late. I get 3 tardies before I'm sent down to talk to Mr Sparks, so I've now got one and shall have no more for the remainder of the year. Last night I bowled for my mom since she's in California for a few days for my great grandpa's funeral. I ended up getting a 194, 168, and a 165 which resulted in a 527 series. I had a few doubles and a few turkeys as well. Plus I picked 2 splits. It was a good night for bowling. I got out of school early today which was nice. We did basically nothing at all in class today and have no homework because nobody knew how to do the stuff so we're going over it in class on Tuesday. I got home and my dad asked me if I had plans for tonight. I like to stay at home and there's nobody to really hang out with seeing as Sean is 12 hours away and my friends are all 2 hours away for school. So then my dad asks me if I want to go out to eat tonight. This is not a normal thing at all, especially since I really don't talk to my dad at all. This is just way beyond the normality which has formed. Not only do we not really talk much, we don't do stuff together either. And my mom is gone so it'd just be my dad and me. I'm wondering if maybe it has a little to do with me moving at the end of May. I really don't know. All I know is that my dad and I are going out to eat at Olive Garden tonight, alone. Weird... January 19, 2004 \|Time\| 5:35 PM \|Sound\| "Stellar" (acoustic) Incubus \|Habit\| not getting enough sleep \|Feel\| tired & depressed \|Think\| Januaury is an evil, evil month. "How do you do it? Make me feel like I do. How do you do it? It's better than I ever knew..." One of our many songs... Some days are just worse than others. Today happens to be a bad day for me. I miss Sean, and I still have four more months before I see him again. At least next time we're together it'll be permanent; god how I wish it was May. Last time we were appart September was the longest and hardest month ever, this time it's Januaury. It's only been a few weeks since Sean left and it's all insane. It's just so hard being away from the person I love and care about the most. I'm really tired today and I ended up laying down and just thinking about Sean. I was almost asleep when the phone rang, so then I had to get up and try to do something to stay awake. Nothing is the same when I'm not with him, and he's the only thing I can think about. This of course leads to crying sometimes, like earlier and now. Once I do stop crying, I can start again at any time, and it takes me a while to get past it... The point of my coming online was to try and stay awake and to try and keep myself from crying. I managed the first, but the second part came anyway. I'm thinking my choice of music right now isn't helping either. I downloaded Kazaa on Saturday night so I could get a few songs I wanted and then I deleted it. I didn't want the Gain/Gator thing to put too much shit on my computer, and I did a virus scan and spyware check and got rid of hopefully everything that was left behind. I did however forget about a few songs that I had wanted, but I got enough for one cd and I did finally get my one song that I tried getting at least 50 times before. "Falls On Me" by Fuel, which is currently on my winamp playlist, along with "Stellar" by Incubus and "In My Place", "Clocks", and "Yellow" by Coldplay. I now I've added one more song that makes me sad, "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd. I think I need to watch tv, play video games, or else read... I need to do something otherwise I'm just going to go more insane than I already am. January 30, 2004 \|Time\| 2:42 PM \|Sound\| "No Such Thing" John Mayer \|Habit\| not studying enough \|Feel\| slightly tired, otherwise I don't know \|Think\| January is officially over come Sunday! Well, today I had my first test for IWT with the new teacher. It was over 5 chapters, which is more than I'm used to for that class, but it wasn't too insane. Now, I had no idea what to expect for this test. Last night I studied and typed stuff out for the test for about 5 hours, which is about 4 and a half hours more than I usually study. Not only did that 5 hours not help, I would have needed probably 10 more to have been prepared today. I got to school early this morning and my teacher was telling the few of us that were in there how many questions were on the test. Now, we're used to having a test every week over like 2 chapters and it being about 30 questions. This was 5 chapters so we figured maybe like 70 or so. No, it was 175 questions; 143 true and false, and 32 matching. That was one of the hardest tests I have ever taken. I'd say I had absolutely no clue whatsoever on at least 75% of the test. The hands-on ended up being really easy. I couldn't quite format the way I would have liked to have with the CSS for an XML page, but oh well. I had what he asked for and how the page looked was up to us. Mine ended up being rather interesting. Let's see, we've had some fun weather lately. It's been below 0°F in the mornings, freezing rain, sleet, snow; it's lightly snowing now. Wednesday a guy backed into me in the parking lot when I was leaving school. Shattered a hubcap, might have scuffed a small area, that was it. People just don't pay attention at all when they are backing up apparently. Nichole had some guy back into her on the first day back this semester. I don't know, people just need to pay attention, especially since people are always walking in the parking lot. I can see someone backing into a person. Tonight I'm talking to Sean at 7, then going over to my cousin Bill's to play some pool and hang out. Tomorrow my sister is coming over for whatever and maybe going out to eat with us, though I had made plans with Jenny over a week ago to go see The Butterfly Effect. It didn't get good reviews, and I'm thinking Ashton Kutcher can't play that kind of role, but I still want to see it because of the story. I'm still having dreams like every night. I can always remember them right when I wake up, but then I start thinking about Sean, the day, and everything so I always forget them before I even leave the house in the morning. Sometimes I can remember little parts of them, but I haven't been able to remember a full one or even most of one lately. It's just weird to me. I had this sharp pain in my left side when I was driving home today. It was slightly there the whole time I was driving, but there were times when I'd have just this horrible, sharp pain and that's not too fun especially when trying to drive. I was all gripping the steering wheel really tight and trying to keep my attention on the road. I told my mom when she got home for lunch and she asked if I was in the middle of my periods. You know, having to deal with that for a week every month is bad enough, but now I've found out that you can have horrible pains just whenever because of that. Oh the things girls have to go through... And I'm not tolerant to pain so it's not good at all. I don't ever want to have kids, and I think if I did that I'd die during the process from the pain. I just don't see how girls do it... oh the horrors of it all... Archives


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